Mixed feelings

Back to work tomorrow....

physically feeling ok, emotionally still up and down. I'm wary of going back. Joe said his first day back people either avoided him like the plague or asked all perky like "How was your weekend?"

Maybe if they ask I will lie and say great.... then I won't have to explain.

Either way, I need to get back into the groove. This week was in the low 40's here and it was wonderful.... the only real down side is that Jack has walking pneumonia and Luke might just be getting it as well.

I know that things will forever be different for us now that we have been through this. That said, I'm beginning to attempt to pull it together and make the most of the sadness. To learn from the pain and look for the window I'm praying has been opened since the door had been slammed shut so hard last Thursday.

It's amazing what a week can do for you. I didn't cry at all today (yet). I laughed and played and danced a little too. I ate M& M's (thank you Becca) and finished the last of "the cookies" (thank you Teresa). By goodness then came Dona with Oreo's. They too have brought comfort. While the flowers from Candi begin to wilt, I still look and smell and remember that I am loved.

The one hard lesson I have learned in all of this is to be more aware of the people who matter most to me. By that I mean, be aware of my actions and words with them... make time for them in their time of need and being available to them. As I get older, I'm finding that I really don't care for the drama or the fight some people constantly bring into their lives. I care about the people that live in my little home and the people who care deeply and honestly for us. I go forward putting my time, heart, and hope in them.

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger...... J and I are feeling stronger, little by little, each day.