praying for home

I'm sitting here

in this bed with motors on it

next to a machine that beeps and tells me when I'm "low on fluids".

I am in a hospital and I cannot smell the fresh air and feel the wind on my face.

I cannot deny that I'm miserable.

They have finally allowed me to eat which I confess isn't going well.

The toast went fine, the rest, not.so.much.

IF I can eat and not feel sick and IF I can continue to get better,

THEN they will let me go tomorrow.

I'm scared, very scared that I won't improve based on the way I'm feeling now.

I'm sick of this bed, sick of being here.

I want to go home.

I want to see my kids, kiss their faces, love on them.

I know it's "for the best" and that I need to be here but, I'm GOING CRAZY.

Grrrrrrr